He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
