She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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