He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
now i know why i became what i already was.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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