Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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