ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
