so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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