Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
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Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
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I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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