no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Randomize
