doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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