well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
There are leaves in my underwear?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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