How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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