awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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