Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize