my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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