Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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