The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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