Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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