Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
