break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
