Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
