I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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