I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
