you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
