maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
