i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
