She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
