Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
...so i touched it.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
