plz talk dirty to me
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
