its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
