Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
i dont even know how to be here
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
