i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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