good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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