He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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