also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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