In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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