All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
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