i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
