why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Randomize
