also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
