I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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