I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
