sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
