sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
