i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
