At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Randomize
