I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
