Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
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