im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
This house was built for laser tag.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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