why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize