You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
