they need to just BURY HIM!
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
