it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Just high enough for therapy.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
