my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
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It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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