id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
