i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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