God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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