Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
My vagina just recognized that song.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
