Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
