I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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