i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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