plz talk dirty to me
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
This show inspires me to have sex in space
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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