im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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