The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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