Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
